“Where do I belong?”
Who hasn’t ever asked themselves that vague question before? Because I sure did a lot of times; more that I will ever admit; sometimes it just overwhelms me.
I repeatedly felt out of space thinking I would be better off somewhere else, feeling like I was not belonging anywhere specific.
I slightly and slowly changed my way of thinking, I guess I kind of grew up in the last year or so. I felt out of synch with everything and everyone. It felt like something was wrong with me. I was feeling sad, witnessing people being happy; knowing what they wanted, but especially where they wanted it to happen. I was watching life happen, not really playing a major role. Now, I don’t anymore.
We don’t belong in just one place. Our moods, our experiences, our crises make us evolve. I, for once, belong here in my little home in Paris. However, I also belong on the seashore; watching the waves wash away pain and sadness. Making me feel home.
I belong in the world, just like everybody else does. You belong in your lover’s arms if they keep you safe. I belong in that sweet library that smells like honey and old dusty books.
I’ve been writing a lot these past few weeks, reflecting on the different changes that happened in my life. Trying to really comprehend what I desire the most in my heart, acting on it, embracing it. It’s a work in progress, I’m understanding and learning a lot of things.
If you still feel like you don’t belong anywhere, that’s ok. Keep looking for that special place that makes everything feel better and brighter. Perhaps you just need to take a step back and think deeply about both your life and your expectations. Life is complicated and you need to press pause from time to time to really grasp what you want.
You’ll find it. You’ll belong somewhere. Trust this.
(PS: Right now I have two blogs, this one, but also The Beautiful Stillness for everything book related. I’m thinking about reuniting the two of them – on this URL – what are your thoughts about it?!)