Being More Positive

A negative mind will never give you a positive life.

This is somehow a very personal post that I feel ashamed to be posting. I’m going to write it, post it, and never doubt it. 

Guru Candice speaking…

For more than a third-quarter of my life I was a pessimistic human being : I was always thinking everything will turn out badly, and that I didn’t deserve to be happy.

Somehow, along the way, I changed. I became more and more optimist,  now I am trying to always see the glass half-full.

I’ve been working on being more positive, therefore less negative.

When you’re negative, you attract negative people and negative events. So why will it not work for positivity ? If I think more positively, positive events will happen in my life.

One of my first steps have been to stop (for the most part) complaining. I am not saying I don’t complain anymore, this is not true because well … complaining sometimes can be relieving, but I don’t do it as much as I did before.

If my train gets delayed, I won’t tweet about it. I’ll turn my energy into finding something good to do while waiting : start a new book; take time to write in my notebook some reviews for The Beautiful Stillness or even go for a walk.

It considerably changed  my moods, I will not have this anger inside me still burning. I killed it before it had the chance to grow.

I don’t talk about the “hate” I feel for books, films, or even people on the internet.  It’s much more interesting to listen to people talking about things they love instead of things they despise, don’t you think ? I always feel in awe when someone I know talk to me about some exciting project, and when someone start whining about something trivial for an hour … well… it doesn’t have the same effect at all. It’s ok to don’t like things, we can’t love everything, but it’s negative to only talk about things you don’t like.

I want more people sharing about things they love, things that make them happy. It inspires me and make me feel happy!

If you are having a hard time, I am going to give you a little trick that works perfectly for me : make a list of things that make you happy or things you are grateful for, and when you’re sad, read the list, do one of the things. It will make you feel better, I promise.

Well, that’s it for today. Now I’m going to hide in a corner and watch you respond to this…

40 thoughts on “Being More Positive

  1. I’m gonna post an anti-thesis of your post. Nobody know me on here so that’s ok.
    First I want to say that I did not take your post the wrong way, I did not feel insulted in any way or whatever… I am happy that you are a positive person (or working on it), and that you decide to focus on the good rather than the bad. I always prefer my friends to be happy, I don’t like to see them hurting. I guess the positive part of life haven’t clicked for me yet. Maybe one day.

    Because I AM a negative person. I must be such a French cliché for complaining as much as I do. I always think that I’m not good enough, that I can’t do anything well, that I’m not worth anything, that people “tolerate” me instead of “liking” me and having me around. Why would anyone be interested in me? I don’t have anything for myself, I don’t have any skills, I don’t have much conversation… I’ve always seen a bleak future for myself.

    Thank God I have very good friends (I can count them on the fingers of one hand) who are very patient. I still don’t know why they would stick around me, but I am grateful for it and love them for it.

  2. I’m gonna post an anti-thesis of your post. Nobody know me on here so that’s ok.
    First I want to say that I did not take your post the wrong way, I did not feel insulted in any way or whatever… I am happy that you are a positive person (or working on it), and that you decide to focus on the good rather than the bad. I always prefer my friends to be happy, I don’t like to see them hurting. I guess the positive part of life haven’t clicked for me yet. Maybe one day.

    Because I AM a negative person. I must be such a French cliché for complaining as much as I do. I always think that I’m not good enough, that I can’t do anything well, that I’m not worth anything, that people “tolerate” me instead of “liking” me and having me around. Why would anyone be interested in me? I don’t have anything for myself, I don’t have any skills, I don’t have much conversation… I’ve always seen a bleak future for myself.

    Thank God I have very good friends (I can count them on the fingers of one hand) who are very patient. I still don’t know why they would stick around me, but I am grateful for it and love them for it.

  3. I’m a really negative person. Everyone tells me I should be more positive, and I’ve always defended myself saying that I prefer to see things in a negative way so I won’t get “depressed” if something goes wrong, and that I’ll be happier if things end up going well. But the truth is that this is not a good mindset. In fact, it leads you to a constant negative view of life. I’ve noticed lately that having a negative mind is usually associated with having a very low self-esteem; I think that’s my case, at least.
    I’ll try to follow your advice! Thank you very much for writing this 🙂
    Btw, sorry if my English is terrible, hahaha!

  4. I’m a really negative person. Everyone tells me I should be more positive, and I’ve always defended myself saying that I prefer to see things in a negative way so I won’t get “depressed” if something goes wrong, and that I’ll be happier if things end up going well. But the truth is that this is not a good mindset. In fact, it leads you to a constant negative view of life. I’ve noticed lately that having a negative mind is usually associated with having a very low self-esteem; I think that’s my case, at least.
    I’ll try to follow your advice! Thank you very much for writing this 🙂
    Btw, sorry if my English is terrible, hahaha!

  5. I consider myself a very positive person. Always believing that things will turn out well in the end. Reading this post I have realised that I also complain a lot though. Some of it is justified and some of it is because I like dissecting movies/tv-shows and nothing is perfect, but I also complain about stupid things. Your post really made me think, so thanks for that 🙂

  6. I consider myself a very positive person. Always believing that things will turn out well in the end. Reading this post I have realised that I also complain a lot though. Some of it is justified and some of it is because I like dissecting movies/tv-shows and nothing is perfect, but I also complain about stupid things. Your post really made me think, so thanks for that 🙂

  7. I’m a very negative person myself, I’m concscious of it and of everthing you wrote in your post so I’m always trying to improve that. Then I see my parents and how pessimistic, negative they are and understand where all this grey cloud of negativity above my head comes from and how hard it is going to be to change something that is so deeply rooted in me. But I try, like you, and I completely agree, I can’t stand people spending hours moaning about ridiculous trivial things and who never seem to spend one second to acknowledge their privileges and blessings.
    Bottom line, I’m like you, TRYING HARD and I hope it’ll work more and more! 🙂 x x x

  8. I’m a very negative person myself, I’m concscious of it and of everthing you wrote in your post so I’m always trying to improve that. Then I see my parents and how pessimistic, negative they are and understand where all this grey cloud of negativity above my head comes from and how hard it is going to be to change something that is so deeply rooted in me. But I try, like you, and I completely agree, I can’t stand people spending hours moaning about ridiculous trivial things and who never seem to spend one second to acknowledge their privileges and blessings.
    Bottom line, I’m like you, TRYING HARD and I hope it’ll work more and more! 🙂 x x x

  9. I am SO negative when it comes things related to myself: my future, my looks, my abilities. I think that’s the obvious result of my lack of confidence.
    But someone once described me as a sad person, and I don’t want to be judged as that kind of person anymore. I try to be more positive, smile, and embrace new opportunities; but it’s not that easy.
    Anyway, I love when you post personal posts dear !

  10. I am SO negative when it comes things related to myself: my future, my looks, my abilities. I think that’s the obvious result of my lack of confidence.
    But someone once described me as a sad person, and I don’t want to be judged as that kind of person anymore. I try to be more positive, smile, and embrace new opportunities; but it’s not that easy.
    Anyway, I love when you post personal posts dear !

  11. Like Léa, I’m super negative when it comes to myself. But I’m the most positive and optimistic person when it comes to my friends. I’m a great cheerleader! (well no, obviously I have flaws and sometimes get things wrong, but I always wish the best for the people around me)

  12. Like Léa, I’m super negative when it comes to myself. But I’m the most positive and optimistic person when it comes to my friends. I’m a great cheerleader! (well no, obviously I have flaws and sometimes get things wrong, but I always wish the best for the people around me)

  13. Encore une fois, je n’écrirais pas en Anglais parce que je n’ai pas le niveau.
    Mais ce post est une bouffée d’air frais pour moi. C’est hyper inspirant pour moi qui est souvent du mal à voir le côté positif de certaines choses.
    J’essaye de ne parler que des choses que j’aime parce que j’estime que les choses que j’aime moins n’ont pas vraiment la place dans ma vie, je préfère garder les bons moments au mauvais.

    Merci pour cette piqûre de rappel ça fait du bien.

    Bises
    Clow

  14. Encore une fois, je n’écrirais pas en Anglais parce que je n’ai pas le niveau.
    Mais ce post est une bouffée d’air frais pour moi. C’est hyper inspirant pour moi qui est souvent du mal à voir le côté positif de certaines choses.
    J’essaye de ne parler que des choses que j’aime parce que j’estime que les choses que j’aime moins n’ont pas vraiment la place dans ma vie, je préfère garder les bons moments au mauvais.

    Merci pour cette piqûre de rappel ça fait du bien.

    Bises
    Clow

  15. I used to be a negative person when I was depressed. One day, I’ve decided to try to be optimistic and it helps me a lot to feel better. Now i think I’m an optimistic person.
    When you say “When you’re negative, you attract negative people and negative events.”, I agree with you and I can add when you’re optimistic, you attract optimistic people and happy events 🙂

  16. I used to be a negative person when I was depressed. One day, I’ve decided to try to be optimistic and it helps me a lot to feel better. Now i think I’m an optimistic person.
    When you say “When you’re negative, you attract negative people and negative events.”, I agree with you and I can add when you’re optimistic, you attract optimistic people and happy events 🙂

  17. I am a very very negative person. I always see the bad side of things, always think I will fail before even trying.

    I’m self conscious, but I don’t seem to find a way of getting out of the loop and think in another way. And it’s hard because I don’t really have a lot friends (euphemism).
    I complain ok, but not that much, I keep it all inside.

    I admire people who just ‘go with the flow’, who are optimistic and don’t waste time overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

    This post is inspiring, it helps me think that if I try harder I may see things on a more positive note.

    Thank you for that.

    1. Late to the party, sorry.
      I relate to you, even though I am more positive now, I used to be very negative. I always thought failure was made for me, that I couldn’t succeed, no matter how much hard I was trying.
      Being positive and optimistic doesn’t mean I am not overanalyzing and overthinking stuff. It’s two different things. I’m always overthinking. I try to live a more “carpe diem” life nowadays. It might be cliché, but I had great surprises. Unexpected. Life changing. I’m thankful for it.

      I’m thankful for your comment, for you saying that it helps you in a way. I’m here if you wanna talk.
      You’re very welcome.. 😉

  18. I am a very very negative person. I always see the bad side of things, always think I will fail before even trying.

    I’m self conscious, but I don’t seem to find a way of getting out of the loop and think in another way. And it’s hard because I don’t really have a lot friends (euphemism).
    I complain ok, but not that much, I keep it all inside.

    I admire people who just ‘go with the flow’, who are optimistic and don’t waste time overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

    This post is inspiring, it helps me think that if I try harder I may see things on a more positive note.

    Thank you for that.

  19. […] 2014 I learnt to be positive most of the time, and I even made a post about it. It changed the way I was seeing things and life in general, I feel slightly wiser. I figured who I […]

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